There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
