I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
