Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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