mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
