Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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