OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
