I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
