fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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