She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish I only lived at night.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
