I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
