talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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