My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
