Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
