i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
