That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
