If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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