He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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