Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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