VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
