Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
