if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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