Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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