just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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