i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
