When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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