You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
