I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
