do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize