I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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