i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
