3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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