you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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