My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
