it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Randomize