are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
