What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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