I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
