She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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