got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The air taste purple.
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