guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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