I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.