Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.