Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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