People with herpes should wear stickers.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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