I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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