it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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