I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
