But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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