Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
