pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
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I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
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Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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