Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
