Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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