i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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