We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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