hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
