The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
