My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
