Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
