PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
