so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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